Reverse Bucket List

After completing my mini bucket list (5B450) in 2017 I have had a little more to do with bucket lists. My new bucket list is called 5450+ which is more of a being list than a doing list. After a brief exploration of the blogosphere I discovered that reverse bucket lists could be a good exercise in reflection and gratitude. The sixteen items on my reverse bucket list are a reflection of my life over the past fifty odd years. I think the 1990s was a big ‘to do’ list for me: getting a job, getting a career, getting a house, writing songs, poetry, short stories, getting a husband, getting a baby. Since that time I have become more reflective. The last item on my list, ‘2 years of mindful discoveries’, offers the hope that the 2020s will be more a time for ‘being’ and less about ‘doing’.

Lorna’s Reverse Bucket List - A Meaningful Life?

1.      Thirty Years a Librarian (February 1990 –February 2020 plus)-after gaining my library degree-BA(hons)-in 1989

2.      Five decades of travelling (1970s-2020s)– (50 places in England and 33 other countries)

3.      A year of London – visiting 52+ interesting London places

4.      Found and lost love

5.      Learnt to drive

6.      Bought a house (with Richard)

7.      Twenty years since SubVerse (2020) – (active period was 2000-2005)

8.      Raised Amy to the age of 20+ (got her through school and helped her with qualifications) (2020)

9.      Twelve years a Piano Teacher (2008-2019)– helping pupils get fifteen certificates in ten years

10.  Ten years at church (2008-2018)- including ten months of Sunday School teaching from 2010 to 2011

11.  Ten years of Arts and Crafts (2010-2020)– redecorating the house, appreciating art and culture, developing craftwork

12.  Ten years in concert (2010-2020) – Playing classical piano pieces in various public places

13.  Two diplomas in the 2010s – Level 3 in Business Administration and dipABRSM in Piano Teaching

14.  Ran a craft stall in the Twenty-Teens (2013-2019)

15.  Ten years a blogger (2013-2023) – Highlighting my creative and therapeutic endeavours

16. Two years of Mindful Discoveries (2018-2020)

The photos are from the 'Bucket List Coffee' shop in Eastcote.

 

Teenage Troubles

I used to write more and much longer poems when I was a teenager, maybe I had more time back then at least for writing poetry. The five poems in my Teenage Troubles collection occupy a special place in my heart.

Dave was a caveman came second in the Hounslow Poetry Competition in 1984.
Not a very pretty sight is an earlier insight into body dysmorphia.
The Antique Junk Shop has developed into a YouTube video.
Who's been corrupting our son? is about my brother and his teenage friends.
Inadequacy comes from the same place as my interest in 'Unspirational' and Stoicism.

6B460

6B460

My 5B450 bucket list was a list of five things I wanted to do before turning 50. My new bucket list is more about things I want to keep going over many years and how I want to live my life. My big travel goal is to visit Belfast and Northern Ireland.


1. Visit Belfast and Northern Ireland


2. Work in libraries for at least thirty years


3. Keep a blog going for ten years


4. Play classical piano pieces in public for ten years


5. Practice Buddhism everyday


6. Live a good enough life

Art Therapy

Art is therapeutic on a number of different levels; expressing yourself, the practical side of just doing art, flow, engagement, creating something beautiful or striking. The materials used can be comforting, time spent can be pleasant and meaningful. Visiting art galleries can also be therapeutic; connecting with other creative minds and lives via a work of art. We can see the struggles and thoughts of others and it could help us feel less alone. I intend to visit more art galleries and maybe get to know more artistic and creative people too.

My Third Mindful Year

In my first mindful year I was getting to grips with big changes in my life and using therapeutic techniques to enjoy life more. My second mindful year was about waiting for a few milestones to pass and to enjoy myself while waiting. My third mindful year (from March 2020 to February 2021) will involve ticking things off my to do list and being mindful while doing so. I don't think to do lists and mindfulness work so well together. I put wellbeing first these days, so will try to not let my to do list stop me from enjoying the here and now.

Spring -March, April, May

I have five getaways organised for this year. Two of them are scheduled for Spring; Belfast and Teignmouth. There is also work to be done in my home and garden, helping my family and my work. I also want to visit more therapeutic London places and continue my local mindful outings with my daughter. I also want to continue enjoying all the mindful activities I have been discovering and exploring over the past two years.

Summer - June, July, August

I have three more getaways happening in the summer, Norfolk, Hampshire and Sussex. August was a good month last year, it was a time for relaxation and reflection and spending time in our local walled garden. I hope to have more of that this year.

Autumn - September, October, November

I generally don't go away in Autumn or Winter, so will continue my normal mindful activities that I enjoy in quiet times. My favourite mindful activities are reading, drawing, writing, watching TV and films, gardening and homemaking, cooking, listening to music especially Radio Three, nature walking and slow coffee time. I also like visiting London parks, art galleries and museums and walking by water.

Winter - December, January, February

I find Winter a little hard going, enjoying a slow and mindful Christmas and New Year is particularly good, which I managed to do in 2019. In January and February I usually do a lot of planning for the year ahead. In 2020 I realised the importance of living in and enjoying the moment as much as possible no matter what that moment (or the weather) held.

The Need Fairy

I first thought of the basic story of the Need Fairy in the late 1990s when I got married, moved into my house and was hoping for a baby. I was so busy being a working mum in the noughties and also running my SubVerse poetry group, that it was ten years before I sat down and wrote it out as a proper story. It now exists in the real world as an ALF Book and on my Wattpad channel as one of my serial short stories.

The Need Fairy by LJ Finnigan
Tony and Cleo are happy in their new home, but the more they settle in, the more Cleo senses another presence in the house, one that is neither happy nor settled.

Christmas Day
As Cleo and Tony enjoy their Christmas dinner in their new house, the house's spirit reminds them of its presence.

New Year's Day
As Tony works in his home office Cleo ventures into the attic and begins to unearth the house's hidden treasures.

Valentine's Day
Cleo introduces the elaborate idea of the house possessing a Need Fairy to a bemused Tony.

Ash Wednesday
Cleo discovers a little of the house's gruesome history and the house spirit begins to find its voice.

Mother's Day
Cleo finds the true value of the attic treasures when she visits the local antique shop.

Palm Sunday
Cleo and Tony both experience tangible encounters with the house spirit when they both venture into the attic.

Easter Day
The Need Fairy visits Cleo in the middle of the night with a promise of love for the future.

Christmas Eve
The spirit of the Need Fairy is alive and well and living in the nursery.

Pray, eat, love holiday plans 2020

2019 was a much more peaceful year than 2018 and allowed me time and the chance to get to grips with certain aims, lists and quotas in my life. 2020 is more about fulfilling those aims, lists and quotas. One major one is these three 'Pray, Eat, Love' holidays inspired by the book and film 'Eat, Pray, Love'. They are spread over the months March to September and I hope to do a proper review of the places I visited later on in the year.

A diet of Music

I came across notes I had made about my music collection quite recently and one of the ideas I had come up with was a musical diet, which is detailed below.

Monday – Rock and Pop

The Beatles, the Doors, the Velvet Underground, David Bowie, Kate Bush

Tuesday – Alternative

Enya, Portishead, Tori Amos, Bjork, Vashti Bunyan

Wednesday – Folk

Joni Mitchell, Bob Dylan, Pentacle, The Wicker Man, Into the wild

Thursday-Electronic

Jean Michel Jarre – Oxygene, Equinox, Tubular Bells, OMD, ELO

Friday – Movie

Amelie, Chocolat, Road to Perdition, Gladiator, Blade Runner

Saturday-Classical

The Planet Suite, Carnival of the Animals, New World Symphony,

Pictures at an exhibition, The Four Seasons

Sunday – Jazz

Midnight, Experimental, Free-form, Improvised, Relaxing

​

Humility

I started my virtue project in 2007. Since then I have created artwork, writing and crafts, all reflecting the qualities of the various virtues. Humility is sometimes described as the greatest virtue, from which all other virtues flow. Whether it is the greatest or not is debatable, but I still think it is highly important. I use purple to portray humility, as it is the contrary virtue to the vice of pride and pride is often illustrated with a purple peacock.

Celebrating Libraries and Buddhism

  

I had been planning my visit to the Buddhist exhibition in the British Library at St Pancras for several months.

   

I thought it would be a good way to celebrate, not only three decades of working in libraries, but also the last two years of practising mindfulness and other Buddhist psychological techniqes.

    

I was feeling a bit cold and tired on the day, it has been a particularly dreary February, but I think the experience and my time exploring libraries and Buddhism will be good to reflect on in the future.

        

Creative projects 2000 to 2020

 

Being creative has been important to me since I was little. Over the first twenty years of the 21^st Century my creative projects have been important to keep me going through difficult years; working, looking after my home and family, raising my daughter. Popular projects have been SubVerse, possibly my favourite, from the early noughties. It has also been good to keep my blog going from 2013 until 2023. Running my craft stall in the twenty-teens has been an interesting experience and playing classical piano pieces in public has been quite rewarding. More information about my creative projects over the years can be found on my blog at amilofinn.blogspot.co.uk .

 

Thirty years a librarian

To celebrate my thirty years as a librarian I have chosen thirty favourite books from five decades of reading.

1970s (childhood)

My two chosen books from the 1970s showcase my life long love affair with a Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens and the tales of Edgar Allan Poe.

1980s (education)

In the 1980s I studied English at O'level and A'level and acquired a degree in librarianship. My choice of books reflect what I was studying at the time; the Bronte sisters, George Orwell, The Great Gatsby and EM Forster.

1990s (work)

I did a lot of commuting when I started work and found that the tube was an ideal place to catch up with my reading. I enjoyed Dracula and Frankenstein, HG Wells and Stephen King, Gone with the wind and The mill on the floss.

2000s (relationships)

I was busy with my young family in the early noughties, I read and wrote more poetry. By the end of the decade I was back on novels again, I particularly enjoyed Chocolat, The other Boleyn girl and the Thirteenth tale by Dianne Setterfield.

2010s (escape)

My escape in the 2010s was more virtual than actual, books I escaped into include Never let me go, We need to talk about Kevin, The girl on the train and Room. I can imagine that the theme for the forthcoming 2020s will increasingly be 'Letting Go'.

An Anatomy of Love

'An Anatomy of Love' is my seven poem cycle of reflections on romantic relationships from waiting for something to begin through enjoyment and endurance and finally coming out on the other side. 'Anything but love' is a poem about distraction, about what you might concentrate on when trying to move on from a broken heart. It is more descriptive of my life since 2008.

First book of the year

This is the first book I have read in the new year (and the new decade), below is a review of it.

Eat, pray, love by Elizabeth Gilbert

I really loved watching the film of this book on Netflix, so I was really looking forward to reading the book itself. Luckily the book did not disappoint, although I found it strangely lighter in many places than the movie. The first part is thirty six chapters on enjoying food in Italy, as well as some story background and an introduction to Liz, I found it quite delicious. The middle section, Pray, is set in an ashram in India and features a lot of reflection on meditation. The final, Indonesian section, Love, seemed less well-defined as the eat and pray sections, it was about finding balance. I found the whole book was a very enlightening read.

I have changed my reading plan slightly for the year, while also working on a three year plan, covering the years 2019 to 2021. The three books below are helping with my mindful home and slower living projects.

 Below are four poetry books I hope will help guide me through the months ahead.

Musical Heroines

Below are my paintings and sketches of eight of my favourite musical heroines. You can listen to some of the wonderful music created by these women on my AmiloFinn playlist Music Mistress Please.

Jazz is inspired by Ella Fitzgerald, apparently she was Marilyn Monroe's favourite female singer and Marilyn gave her a small helping hand in the early years of her career. Songs I love Ella singing are My Funny Valentine, Every time we say goodbye, The lady is a tramp and a host of other jazz standards.

My ultimate rock chick is Debbie Harry of Blondie. The first music album I bought was Parallel Lines. She is responsible for my lifelong obsession with New York City. She is wonderful to watch and to listen to. Sunday Girl was my favourite song for a long while, nowadays I really admire Atomic, Call me and Rapture.

There exists a lovely film of Jacqueline du Pre's life called 'Hilary and Jackie' about her complicated relationship with her sister, it stars Emily Watson as the cellist. Listen to Jacqueline du Pre playing Elgar's cello concerto for a really moving musical experience.

My alternative songstress is Enya. She is a visual and aural treat, just listen to Orinocco Flow or Carribean Blue and watch their accompanying videos and you'll see what I mean. I don't know if I'd guess she was Irish from her music, but I do think there's definitely something of the mysterious, emerald isle about her. My favourite Enya piece is Boadicea from the Celts.

My favourite folk songstress is Joni Mitchell. My favourite song is the very famous 'Both sides now'. Other lovely thoughtful pieces are Woodstock, Chinese Cafe and a Case of You.

My pop princess is Kate Bush. I've loved Kate Bush for as long as I've loved Debbie Harry. My favourite music by Kate is The Ninth Wave, the B Side of the Hounds of Love album. I recently bought her triple album 'Before the Dawn'; a new live version of The Ninth Wave fills the second disk as Act Two. It is my favourite music to listen to; it helps me get to sleep.

Punk rock was full of rude, scary men, although some of them were also quite attractive. Siouxsie Sioux looks a little scary, but also very appealing, with very artistic make-up and very strong, tuneful music. My favourite song is Spellbound. I also love Happy House, Israel and the Banshees' version of the Beatles' Dear Prudence.

Sade was quite a unique act in the 1980s, sophisticated and soothing, a real 'Smooth Operator'. Favourite songs incude Your love is King, The Sweetest Taboo and 'Why can't we live together'.

Maybe my tastes are getting a little old, I think my daughter's list of musical heroines would include, Adele, Florence Welch, Amy Winehouse, Rihanna and Lilly Allen, among others.

Ten Years of Arts and Crafts

I don't consider myself good on home decor, but after discovering 'Kirsty's Homemade Home' in 2009 I thought I would make more of an effort to bring inspiring art and craft into my house. After Christmas 2009 I had a strong feeling that I needed to improve the overall ambience of my home. I bought picture books, calendars with pictures I could frame, prints, attractive frames, cushion covers and I specifically ventured into charity shops to buy knick-knacks. I'm not very materialistic but the things I bought I now find useful for the mindful meditation of homely things.

13 Books for 2020

It took me a long time to find 13 books I might like to read in 2020. 

I'm not sure how I'll get on, some of them may be too heavy, some too light. 

I'll see how I go.

First Six by Six Book Challenge - Film/Book tie-ins

1. Eat, pray, love by Elizabeth Gilbert

2. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy by John Le Carre

3. Different Seasons by Stephen King

4. The Kite runner by Khaled Hosseini

5. Stories of your life and others by Ted Chiang 

6. The Light between Oceans by ML Stedman

Second six by six book challenge - Autumn and Winter Reads

1.  My year of rest and relaxation by Ottessa Moshfegh

2. Circe by Madeline Miller

3. The Hoarder by Jess Kidd

4. The woman who went to bed for a year by Sue Townsend

5. A gathering light by Jennifer Donnelly

6. The Miniaturist by Jessie Burton

 

Buddhism Extra

The Wise Heart by Jack Kornfield

Spring Term Therapy

January is a traditional time for making resolutions. According to quite a few studies it is also not a very good time to be making resolutions. March and the beginning of Spring are the best times to be making positive changes. The therapies I have been exploring in the Spring Term reflect the fact that January and February are still winter months, a time to enjoy indoor activities like arts and crafts, watching films, reading books, listening to music and playing games.

Lorna's Songs on YouTube

Twelve of my songs feature on the Lorna's Songs playlist on YouTube.



Stargazing
A song written with passion about an obsessive love which leads to a tortured, sleepless night.

Island of Happiness
This song is about the few wonderful times in life and love that are highlights in an otherwise bleak existence.

For What I Am
This song is about being yourself, warts and all, and finding love as a flawed being.

Alive at Last
Romantic hope is renewed after recovering from a broken heart.

Jazz
Jazz is a carefree, attractive girl, a popular, social butterfly, the singer of the song can only look on with envy.

That far away look
This song was written on a moonlit evening near the sea, when the cool air was full of promise and excitement.

The feeling's always there
The remnants of an intense love affair, the lover may have gone, but heartbreak takes much longer to move on from.

I can see you
A song written when I was seventeen, when I was contemplating future love and relationships and was rather apprehensive as to what awaited me.

Scorpio Eyes
This song concerns superstition and astrology. What does the second water sign of the zodiac have to say about love?

New Ways
My songs are mostly about love. This one concerns exploring new opportunities, possibly as a result of a recent break up.

Richard's Things
Richard's Things is a novel by Frederic Raphael. This song is inspired by the title rather than the novel itself. It is about a woman constrained by a possessive man and her attempts to break free.

Waiting for me
I wrote this song on a European tour in the late 1980s. It is about longing for adventure.