Saturday, 23 March 2019

A Year of Living Mindfully



On the 23rd March 2018 I did my first guided meditation with my daughter. It was the body scan from 'The Beginner's Guide to Mindfulness'. We now do guided meditations everyday. The connecting to breath meditation, where we concentrate on breathing slowly and calmly, is very effective and relaxing and can also cure hiccups. We also do the Loving Kindness Meditation which we started in July and which now features quite a bit of self-compassion as well. Self-compassion was one of the last ideas I embraced, it has been very helpful. 

I practice mindfulness everyday; at work, at home, in the pub, while travelling; it has helped make my life feel a lot less stressful. I have read many books on mindfulness and Buddhist psychology in the past year; these are six of the best.



1.       Wherever you go, there you are by Jon Kabat-Zinn; New York, Piatkus, 2004

2.       Mindfulness by Williams and Penman; London, Piatkus, 2011

3.       A lamp in the darkness by Jack Kornfield; Boulder, Sounds True, 2014

4.       The art of living by Thich Nhat Hanh; London, Rider, 2017

5.       When things fall apart by Pema Chodron; Colorado, Shambhala, 1997

6.       Buddha’s Brain by Rick Hanson, Oakland, New Harbinger, 2009​



As it is my Mindfulness Anniversary I decided to buy a new mindfulness book called the Mindfulness Journal to celebrate. Above and below are some mindful doodling and colouring I have been doing throughout the year.


Monday, 18 March 2019

Amy's game of life



We have been playing Amy's game of life on holiday since she created it in 2014. It was a most memorable time playing it on holiday in our rented apartment in Whitby, on the Yorkshire coast.

The game begins with birth and ends in death. At the start players wait in limbo until they draw the birth card and then their game begins. On life's journey you earn money, buy property, have children, get into debt, get into trouble, get sick. The game ends when someone draws the death card. At that point the amount of love and money earnt in a lifetime are calculated and a winner is nnounced.

Amy's pictures on the cards are fantastic and playing the game is quite absorbing, however Amy does usually end up being the winner.


Monday, 11 March 2019

Thirteen Books for 2019

A therapy I have recently been exploring is Reading Therapy. These are the thirteen books I am intending to read in 2019.


Good Mood Books Plus
These books were chosen as they might be good for my mental health.

The Readers of Broken Wheel Recommend by Katarina Bivald
This seems to be a fish out of water story about a young Swedish woman stranded in small town America. I think I'll read it after Kafka.

A tale for the time being by Ruth Ozeki
Quite a few of my chosen books have a Japanese theme, like this one. It revolves around a diary and a tsunami and I don't know much more than that at the moment.

This book will save your life by AM Homes
This is a classic good mood book, about a business man having to face up to the messy reality of everyday life. I will have to see what it does for me.

The reader on the 6.27 by Jean-Paul Didierlaurent
This is a French book about an everyday man who escapes his dull existence by reading books on his daily commute. I used to do this when I worked in Central London. I can relate to the book already, I hope I enjoy it.

The Guest Cat by Takashi Hiraide
This is another Japanese book featuring cats. It looks quite sweet.

Kafka on the shore by Haruki Murakami
This has been recommended in several philosophical circles. I am nearly halfway through it. So far I have found it very intriguing, nasty in some places, much nicer in others, it will be interesting to see how it all fits together at the end.


Odds and Ends
I had a big sort out at the end of 2018 and came across four books I had intended to read but did not quite get around to.

Wabi Sabi by Francesc Miralles
This is the sequel to Love in Small Letters. It is written by a Spaniard, and seems to be about Japan and cats.

Life of Pi by Yann Martel
I have tried to read this several times. I read the first page again and seemed to get on much better this time. Maybe I will read the whole book this year.

We have always lived in the castle by Shirley Jackson
Shirley Jackson is a renowned writer, responsible for the Haunting of Hill House. People think this is her best book, I'll see how I get on with it.

Warm bodies by Isaac Marion
I picked this up in a charity shop, after I had watched the brilliant film adaptation. Some people say the book is even better, I hope I enjoy it.


Therapy Books
I also have three more Buddhist Psychology books I want to read.

The Mindful Path to Self-compassion
I am practising self-compassion a lot lately, which is why I have chosen all these lovely books to read this year.

Living beautifully with uncertainty and change by Pema Chodron
Pema Chodron was the first Buddhist writer I read, When Things Fall Apart helped me through a very dark time. This one seems short and sweet.

The Wise Heart by Jack Kornfield
I love Jack Kornfield's guided meditations that are on the accompanying CD to A Lamp in the Darkness. This book is much bigger and doesn't have a CD. I hope I get on OK with it.

Monday, 4 March 2019

Knitted purses and pouches


I knitted my first gadget pouches in possibly 2010, give or take a year. I enjoyed knitting them as they were brief and colourful. I love knitting but am rather slow, so larger knitting projects are quite frustrating. I was not too happy with my camera pouch and so the knitted purse was a bit of an alternative. I had knitted a gadget pouch for my daughter's mobile phone, but she thought it was decidedly 'uncool' and she has since moved onto a proper SmartPhone. I wonder if I will see the return to small cell phones like my daughter's Nokia brick and my knitted gadget pouches will finally become fashion statements. I won't hold my breath.


Monday, 25 February 2019

Something More poetry booklet


I compliled the Something More poetry booklet in 2012. I remember 2012 as being a good year, my dad was still alive and we travelled to Edinburgh and Cornwall with him. My parents celebrated their 50th Golden Wedding Anniversary. London was in celebratory mood with the Olympics. The voluntary olympic embassadors were fantastic and there was a lot of comforting pink and purple everywhere. The years before 2012 were quite difficult and after it were deaths and losses. Something More is full of light verse written by me and light, childish pictures drawn by Amy, which were also on their way out in 2012.





Thursday, 14 February 2019

Only Us


I have written many romantic poems over the years, some about having trouble getting started on relationships like 'Valentine's Day' or 'The Valliant Knight'. Some poems are about trouble at the end of relationships like 'Human Remains' or 'Anything but love'. Different aspects of romantic love can be found on my 'Anatomy of love' seven poem cycle, available on WattPad. 'Only Us' is about the time in a love affair when coupledom is all important. I feel it is a brief poem for a brief moment.

Monday, 21 January 2019

Still Life poetry booklet


Still Life is my second ALF poetry booklet. It consists of my three poetry collections on WattPad. Teenage Troubles features a selection of poetry I wrote as a teenager and includes Dave was a Caveman, a poetry competition runner up, and the Antique Junk Shop, which is now also a YouTube video. An Anatomy of Love features romantic poetry I have written over the years on different aspects of relationships from Valentine's Day to Anything but Love. All Grown Up is about specifically an adult view of the world including expanded older poems Crossing the Bridge and Opening the Door. The poetry booklet also features drawings by myself and my daughter some of which can be found on our Pinterest pages here. The three collections of poetry can be found on my WattPad pages here. Below is a collection of poetry books produced by ALF Creations, which I sell on our craft stall.


Tuesday, 1 January 2019

Aspects of Tea

There is something special about a cup of tea. Whenever I sit down to read, write, reflect, plan or just have a really good think, I like to have a nice cup of tea handy to enhance the experience. I think that has been why contemplating 'Aspects of tea' has been a big creative idea in my life and has carried on from the SubVerse Poetry Tea Room to the Star Heart Cafe. Some of my tea related memorabilia can be found on my Pinterest Board 'Aspects of tea' and also via a musical montage on YouTube, 'Aspects of tea' is accompanied by me playing Gnossiennes 1 and 3 by Satie on my electirc piano.


Monday, 31 December 2018

The Poetry of Surrender on Wattpad


I have been meaning to put six poems from my days at SubVerse onto Wattpad for quite some time.
 You can now find them here.

Sunday, 30 December 2018

Twiddle muffs for dementia patients


My hospital has been advertising for twiddle muffs and knitting for twiddle muffs for ages. I was going to attempt to make a twiddle muff myself, but I have been feeling too bogged down with life, so, instead, I decided to donate some spare knitting I did earlier in the decade, related to my dolls. I have been having a mega house clear out at the end of 2018, which has been both traumatic and therapeutic at the same time. Below are the fragments of knitting I am donating to the project.


Saturday, 22 December 2018

2018 book review on Good Reads


It's been quite a year and a lot of normal life has fallen by the wayside, but at least I managed to read one relatively normal book and review it for Good Reads, here it is below.

 


2018. Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer


In 2017 I became obsessed with the film 'Everest' and in 2018 I read and re-read the book it was based on. Jon Krakauer's 'Into thin air' exposes the fuzzy thinking behind ordinary people's desire to prove themselves in ways they would be better not pursuing. Climbing Mount Everest is a near impossible task for the average human and getting back down again is even more difficult. I read this book when I had my own Mount Everest to ascend and descend, this book helped me face my own difficult endeavours.

Saturday, 15 December 2018

Weirdscapes


Weirdscapes from dreams and space have featured a lot in my and Amy's pictures over the years, these are a few of my favourites.




Wednesday, 12 December 2018

A London Year

I have revisited some of my favourite London places as part of my London Interrupted series of posts and also in my London walks and ALF @ blog posts. There are also memorable places in London I have visited, which I might not visit again until sometime in the distant future, or maybe never. While thinking about them I concluded that they could be appropriate places to visit at different times of the year. Below are these twelve places to visit in my imaginary ‘London Year’.

January-Winter Wonderland

It was a cold, grey day in January when I visited London’s Winter Wonderland. It’s at the other end of Hyde Park and Amy and I had to walk past the Peter Pan statue in Kensington Gardens and the Princess Diana water feature to get there. Winter Wonderland has a Germanic and Scandinavian feel about it, with craft stalls selling wooden and woollen wares, funfair rides, beer taverns and hearty, wintry eateries. When we visited it was crowded and a bit too commercialised for my liking, but still it was different and memorable. Hyde Park probably looks better in the Spring and Summer.


February-London Dungeon

I visited the London Dungeon with Richard, back in the 1990s. I remember it looking like a Hammer Horror film set. What made it really special was our actor-host. He resembled a cross between a plague victim and Jack the Ripper; he had a London roughness about him which made him quite gorgeous. It was a good introduction to London’s shabby, gory history and also had some pretty scary exhibits and a thrilling theme park ride for you to enjoy. If you want more, shabby, gory London history, the museum of London near the Barbican is also pretty good.

March-Museum of childhood

The museum of childhood in Bethnal Green was a lovely opportunity for me to reacquaint myself with the relics of my own childhood. There was a collection of Cindy dolls, teddy bears, doll houses, childhood games I used to play and pieces from a bygone era. The area that really fascinated Amy and I, were the magic lanterns and zoetropes in the animation section. We spent a couple of hours working out animations for a mermaid swimming and a girl eating. Then we went home and worked on ballerinas dancing. These later were developed into ALF animations using GIF animator and movie maker. The results of this work can be found on the LornaJHart YouTube channel.

April-Handel Museum

The Handel Museum is a very small museum in Central London. It occupies several floors of a London townhouse. Amy and I visited it to partake in a Easter Egg hunt. The museum was possibly quite quiet and demure on usual days with its pristine glass cabinets in small, grey rooms, but on this particular day it was full of small children running up and down stairs and from room to room looking for Easter Egg hunting clues.

May-Kew Gardens

Kew Gardens has many associations for my family. I used to work next door to it, my dad used to work in it. We used to visit practically every summer, we still do. It’s all very lovely. My favourite bits are the treetop walk, the palm houses, the pagoda, the queen’s beasts, the alpine garden, the Princess of Wales conservatory and the Marianne North Gallery. The most special part for us now is the wooded area near Queen Charlotte’s Cottage, it is here we scattered my dad’s ashes.

June-Camden Market

Camden Market is great for a visit at any time of year. It has an intriguing interior in an exquisite wrought iron Victorian market place structure and a buzzing exterior next door to the canal, where you can indulge in various foodie delights from across Europe and around the world. Both inside and out you can buy ethnic and eco-friendly clothes, bags and accessories. Amy bought a tree t-shirt, some interesting jewellery and a deathly hallows key ring.


July-London Zoo

One summer Amy and I and Amy’s Swedish aunt and cousin, took a canal boat ride from Camden Lock to Regent’s Park, which takes you to the back of London Zoo, near the very impressive aviary, which looks like something out of Jurassic park. I can safely say that a pleasant day was had by all. I have visited London Zoo often in my life; I remember Guy the gorilla when he was alive not just a statue. The reptile house is particularly memorable and also significant for Harry Potter fans. London Zoo is one popular tourist destination we may revisit. Amy thinks it may help her overcome her fear of spiders.

August-Imperial War Museum

There is much more to the Imperial War Museum than just uniforms and weapons. Over the years the museum has expanded more into the psychology of war and the impact it has on civilians leading ordinary lives. Poignant exhibitions include the holocaust centre where you can read personal testimonies and see photographs from people caught up in the horror of these times. When we last visited there were two interactive exhibits which gave you a fleeting taste of life in the two world wars. The first was the trench experience from the first world war and the second was the blitz experience from the second world war. Both were sobering food for thought.

September-Madame Tussauds

Mum, Dad, Amy and I all agreed that our visit to Madam Tussaud’s was a relentless day and the only respite came in the early evening when we were enjoying dinner in Pizza Express, across the road from Baker Street Station. Nevertheless Madame Tussaud’s was on our list of London places to visit and visit it we did. We queued for three hours inside and out before we got our tickets to enter the waxworks museum. We were in a moving queue throughout Madame Tussaud’s pausing now and then to enjoy the exquisitely modelled celebrities both contemporary and historical. Mum had to go back to visit the Beatles. I’m glad we went, but we will not be hurrying back.


October-Royal Observatory

When I was a teenager I loved seeing the star shows and light shows in the planetarium next door to Madame Tussaud’s. Unfortunately the planetarium has been consumed by Madame Tussaud’s and is not what is used to be. These days the best place for a starry show in London is the Royal Observatory; in Greenwich. Last time we visited we watched a film about the sun, explaining why is is like the other stars in the night sky. We got to fly all over the galaxy visiting Betelgeuse and the crab nebula amongst other places. Also at the observatory is a brief history of time and measurement and a chance to cross the meridian line.

November-Covent Garden

I have been a frequent visitor to Covent Garden over the years. It is always a pleasure to visit it. It has become a bit over-gentrified in recent years, but the arts and crafts are well worth considering, there is a nice cafe in the middle of it and a good pub on the lower level. Shopping is also good, a couple retro toy shops, a soap shop and a book shop. Also in the area is the transport museum and the Royal Opera House. Street entertainment in the area is usually quite spectacular.

December-British Museum

The British Museum often gets into the news, because of the disputes surrounding what exhibits are held there and who actually owns them. The Elgin Marbles come to mind, they were originally Greek. The building itself is very impressive with an amazing enclosed but spacious forecourt leading to the various themed areas. The British museum is perhaps best known for its collection of paraphernalia from Ancient Egypt including mummies. This was still the most exciting and popular area to see when I last visited the British Museum.

Saturday, 1 December 2018

Twelve days on YouTube



ALF's 'Twelve days of Christmas' has been on YouTube since Spring 2014 and has been viewed over a thousand times. The project started in 2009, when Amy and I became obsessed with the song and we developed our pictures for all twelve of the different days. The pictures also exist as a collection of Christmas cards.

Friday, 23 November 2018

Compassion and me


I've been exploring third wave CBT for practically all this year, starting with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Lately I have been exploring DBT and Compassion Focused therapy. At first I didn't really get CFT, I thought it would be too light for me. Recently, though, I have found compassion, especially self-compassion, to be particularly important for my own journey of healing and recovery. Whenever things feel particularly difficult I find being kind to myself about my struggles and endeavours and failures and also widening my compassion towards people I share my life with and beyond that, really helps. I have been doing the Loving-Kindness meditation with my daughter since July, I feel it has also been helping. I have been practising mindfulness since March 23rd, recently, on the morning of November 14th, I was sitting in a coffee shop in Harrow when I experienced a feeling of great inner peace. I felt the most calm, zen-like or Nirvana-ish perhaps, than I possibly had ever felt before. I think this feeling will come and go, but at least I know I can feel like that sometimes. I am looking for more peace and calm in my life, at the moment I find it in half-hour pauses in cafes and pubs. Above and below are examples of colouring sheets I have created  to help me in my new acceptance-based, compassionate and mindful way of being.


   


The following blog posts show the therapeutic journey I have been on this year, starting with ACT in February and ending with CFT in November. It is interesting to see where I started from and where I am now.

1. Welcome to the third wave (September)
5. Breathe (May)


Extra Resources


CFT Books

The Compassionate Mind by Paul Gilbert
Croydon, Robinson, 2009

Mindfulness based compassionate living by E. van Der Brink and F. Koster
Hove, Routledge 2015


Wednesday, 21 November 2018

Exploring Bhuddist-Christianity

After completing my '5B450' projects last year, leading up to my 50th birthday, I have found myself on some kind of spiritual-psychological-philosophical quest. One of the journeys this has taken me on is a progressive shifting away from Christianity towards Buddhism, which is surpirsing and refreshing. These are the three books that have been accompanyinging me on my journey.


When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron

I was going through a very difficult time when I read this book. I found it very wise. Pema has written other books too, which I have enjoyed reading, 'The places that scare you', 'The wisdom of no escape' and 'Start where you are', but I enjoyed this book the most. In 'When Things Fall Apart' Pema first talks about her spiritual inspiration from doing nothing for twelve months. The book is about giving up struggles against fear and anger and a lot of other negative emotions as well. It explores the Buddhist ideas about letting go of everything. A lot of what I have been reading echoes what I was exploring through writing about aspects of surrender in my poetry group SubVerse. I think a lot of things are related but none of them hold the complete answer. Possibly because there are no complete answers. I think that's possibly a very Buddhist conclusion. It also explains why the best thing is to just live in the moment, hopefully the present moment is OK. I have only just started exploring Buddhism, at the moment I am getting a good deal out of it. I hope I will pursue this spiritual practice further, possibly with the help of the Vietnamese Buddhist Thich Nhat Hanh.

The Book of Joy by Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu

The Book of Joy is a big book about the week when the Dalai Lama met his friend Archbishop Desmond Tutu, to celebrate a big birthday. The book starts with a reflection on human fragility and moves on to exploring negative feelings that mask joy; these are fear, anger, sadness, despair, loneliness, envy, suffering, mortality. The book then goes on to discuss the eight pillars of joy which are perspective, humility, humour, acceptance, forgiveness, gratitude, compassion, generosity. The three most practical things I got from this book were the Breathing Practice, Tonglen Practice and Acceptance Meditation. The book is written in a simplistic, friendly way. The Buddhist books I have been reading by Thich Nhat Hanh and Pema Chodron have been a lot more in-depth.

Becoming like Jesus by C.J.H. Wright

I've been a church-going Christian for over ten years. My favourite bit of the bible is St Paul and in particular his verses on the fruits of the spirit; 'The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, against such things there is no law,' Galatians 5: 22-23. There is a lot of love in this book and to me that is what jesus was all about; love. It was about replacing the old testament law enforcement with this one statement 'the entire law is fulfilled in keeping one command: love your neighbour as yourself,' Galatians 5: 14. I've always tried to an open minded, free thinking person, a liberal Christian, I find myself now leaning more towards, Buddhism, due to life difficulties and embracing both Stoicism and ACT. That said I still have room for Jesus in my life and this book helps to explain why. There is a lot to think about and at the moment I am looking for positive practical stuff to keep me going. Positive practical Christian stuff you can do is go to church, pray and bring more of the fruits of the spirit into you own life and sphere of influence.

Thursday, 15 November 2018

Lavender birds


My owl matryoshkas were inspired by nursing mentorship and education books and the lavender swallows were inspired by a digital collage I produced a few years ago called 'The birds of the air', which also features the lyrics to my song 'Phoenix'. Please see the images below for more details.

 



Thursday, 1 November 2018

Aurora's Gifts


These star heart dolls are in celebration of the three gifts the fairy godmothers give Princess Aurora (Sleeping Beauty) at her christening; Beauty, Grace and Melody. The three gifts have also inspired this new digital collage.