Welcome to the Third Wave

My introduction to third wave CBT came with reading the Happiness Trap by Russ Harris which introduced me to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Discovering the other third wave therapies has been like a journey which has finally led me to Buddhism.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

The six core processes at work in ACT are

1. Values

2. Committed action

3. Acceptance

4. Defusion

5. Mindfulness

6. Observing self

Working on and with the processes you can develop psychological flexibility which makes you able to better handle anything life might throw at you. One of the main areas ACT helps with is experiential avoidance, it is a kind of 'Feel the fear and do it anyway' therapy.

I was very excited when  I found out that psychology had moved on and was now putting acceptance ahead of positivity. Accepting the negative and committing to the positive seemed such a good way to go. 

The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris really opened my mind up to a new way of viewing and living my life. I would also recommend Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for Dummies which includes many helpful practical exercises.

Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR)

Main Book Read: Wherever you go, there you are by Jon Kabat-Zinn
New York, Piatkus, 2004

This is a lovely book, guiding you in meditation, but not with the easy guided meditations you get in the third wave therapy books. As far as I can tell the new mindfulness based therapies started with Jon Kabat-Zinn and his Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction programme which requires participants to meditate for forty-five minutes every day. I really enjoyed Full Catastrophe Living, it was very long and very wise. I have two of his guided meditation CDs which are very helpful. He has certainly encouraged me to give Buddhism a go. I love what I have found out about Buddhism and have decided to attempt to persevere with it.

Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT)

The two books I have about MBCT revolve around the '8 week mindfulness course'. The courses look more or less like this:

Week 1 involves waking up from autopilot through becoming aware of your breath
Week 2 introduces more body awareness with the body scan meditation
Week 3 involves mindful movement, a kind of basic yoga
Week 4 involves listening to music more mindfully
Week 5 explores difficulties through guided meditation
Week 6 introduces the loving-kindness meditation
Week 7 involves cultivating mindful routines
Week 8 expands mindfulness into daily life

Mindfulness by Williams and Penman also includes helpful and extremely short meditations like the 1 minute meditation, the 3 minute breathing space meditation, the chocolate meditation and the frustrating queue meditation. The Beginners Guide to Mindfulness also includes useful breath awareness and body scan meditations as well as exercises on making space for difficult emotions, observing your thinking, developing non-judging skills and developing more mindful routines.

Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT)

At the heart of CFT is kindness, humanity and acceptance. This therapy involves relaxation exercises, being at peace, listening to sad music and visualisations such as 'safe place' and 'flow of life'. There is a lot of mindfulness in it. I found it a bit too light for me, I have a dark side which I have made friends with, there does not seem to be much space for this in CFT.

In Mindfulness Based Compassionate Living I encountered another breathing space meditation and the compassionate body scan. It explained the differences between the three psychological systems of Threat, Drive and Soothing, and how we can tune into them when we need them. This therapy introduces these four Buddhist friends for life: 

1. Loving-kindness. 

2. Compassion. 

3. Sympathetic joy. 

4. Equanimity. 

It also explains that living happily requires three fundamental qualities: your life should be pleasant, engaged and meaningful. I have found this to be the least helpful third wave therapy I have encountered.

Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)

DBT is the last therapy I have been exploring. In many ways it has been the most practical and helpful. DBT seems to have a lot in common with the 'Serenity Prayer' used by Alcoholics Anonymous. The dialect being between acceptance and change.

'God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference'
Reinhold Niebuhr

It involves many practical coping strategies to help people cope with strong moods and emotions. These include distraction and soothing skills, doing more positive and enjoyable things, having goals, creating a crisis plan, as well as mindfulness.

DBT addresses these four areas of therapeutic intervention in great detail

1. Distress tolerance
2. Mindfulness
3. Emotion regulation
4. Interpersonal effectiveness.

Guided meditations for DBT include visualisations, naming emotions, relaxation, loving-kindness and the ubiquitous breath awareness and body scan. Other useful DBT ideas are keeping a mood diary, emotion exposure and developing assertiveness skills. It all seems to be very practical and helpful, especially for teenagers and people with BPD.

Basic Buddhism

Seeing as all these third wave therapies seem to have a big Buddhist element in them, I have concluded that I might just as well become a basic Buddhist. I think I will become more involved in Buddhism when I am older, but for the time being, with family, home and work commitments being what they are, basic Buddhism will have to do. These are the Buddhist ideas I am most eager to explore.

Impermanence
Compassion
Selflessness
Mindfulness
Non-judging
Letting-go

My favourite book I have so far discovered on basic Buddhism is the Art of Living by Thich Nhat Hanh, London, Rider, 2017. Other books with really good, basic Buddhist guided meditations have been Buddha's Brain and Siddhartha's Brain.

Selected Bibliography

ACT

Acceptance and commitment therapy for Dummies by Brown and Gillard

Chichester, John Wiley and sons, 2016

The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris

London, Robinson, 2008

MBSR

Wherever you go, there you are by Jon Kabat-Zinn

New York, Piatkus, 2004

MBCT

Mindfulness by M. Williams and D. Penman

London, Piatkus, 2011

A beginner's guide to mindfulness by Bohlmeijer and Hulsbergen

Maidenhead, OU Press, 2013

CFT

The Compassionate Mind by Paul gilbert

Croydon, Robinson, 2009

Mindfulness based compassionate living by E. van Der Brink and F. Koster

Hove, Routledge 2015

DBT

Don't let your emotions run your life for teens by  Van Dijk

Oaklane, Instant Help Books, 2011

The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook by McKay, Wood and Brantley

Oakland, New Harbinger, 2007

Basic Buddishm

The art of living by Thich Nhat Hanh

London, Rider, 2017

Buddha's Brain by Rick Hanson

Oakland, New Harbinger, 2009

Siddartha's brain by James Kingsland

London, Robinson, 2018

The Magic Gallery

These are my favourite ten pages of the A4 book of the ALF project's 'Pictures at an exhibition'. It features the eight part story of Grace and her mother's extraordinary visit to the Magic Gallery and the adventure they have there. It also contains pages of Amy's drawings which I used to fill the gallery's empty spaces and also shows some stills from various ALF animations. I lost a lot of data related to 'Pictures at an Exhibition' in 2012 and so this A4 book has become quite precious to me.

    

     

     

   

   

A Mindful Day in London Town

As you may know me and my family have been going through a tough time lately. Things I have been keen on encouraging, in the face of mental health issues, over-reliance on technology, pressures of the consumer and materialitstic world have been; philosophy (thank you School of Life), mindfulness (via 3rd wave CBT and Bhuddism), connections to church and charity, music and the creative arts. In order to further exploration of these areas, I was happy to take part in the mindfulness open day at the West London Bhuddist Centre.

The two big sessions of the day were one hour of yoga followed by one hour of meditation. There was a lot of therapy involved, with just a hint of Bhuddism, I felt. Afterwards we enjoyed an afternoon in Hyde Park followed by a Chinese meal.

     

          

On Sunday we visited our local church for a farewell service followed by a leaving meal. The activities at the Bhuddist and the Christian centres both had a very good vibe to them, making me feel that it was fine pursuing the ideas of both religions at the same time.

The Four Seasons Star Heart Dolls

My four season star heart dolls developed from my two Christmas Star Heart Dolls, Comfort and Joy.

Winter Comfort is blue with silver slippers and dark hair

Spring Joy is pink with silver slipper and blond hair.

Summer Bliss is green with ginger hair and brown shoes.

Autumn Reflection is orange with blond hair and brown shoes.

Manly and Feminine Virtues

The virtues are for everyone and my ideas for the feminine virtues and the manly virtues grew out of a picture of three girls I drew as a teenager and nothing really deeper than that.

The three girls became Patience, Kindness and Modesty and had their own Star Heart Dolls and cards.

Ins[pired by the girls I then worked on my virtuous three boys, they also have their own cards and Cross Line Dolls. The boys have the names of virtues sometimes used as boys name in their own right; Valiant, Earnest and Loyal.

 

A guide to guided meditations

1. Breath awareness

I was inspired to read ‘The Happiness Trap’ possibly by reading an article in the Guardian. I became obsessed with ‘Acceptance and Commitment Therapy’, thinking that it held a vital message for my struggling family. The ‘Breathing to connect’ exercise is in the middle of the book. This passed me by to begin with until a light bulb moment told me we needed to do this exercise regularly and others like it if we were to get out of our continuing state of crisis, I now have a number of breath awareness exercises we practice. One of my favourites is Exercise 1 from Jon Kabat Zinn’s ‘Full Catastrophe Living’; it features friendly images which make it extra pleasant.

 2. Body scan

The body scan from ‘A beginner’s guide to mindfulness’ by Bohlmeijer and Hulsbergen was the first mindfulness exercise I tried with my daughter (on 23^rd March 2018). At the time I knew we should be doing something different and these mindfulness exercises, starting with breath-awareness and the body-scan, would be the foundation for a new approach to life, I find exercises that include both breath and body awareness to be the most helpful, like the one from ‘Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for Dummies’.

3. Loving kindness

I have recently felt that we should make an effort to move forward, to move on from our breath and body work and try other meditations as well. I have been a Christian surrounded by atheists and getting virtues on the agenda in my family has been tricky. Love and kindness are two of the fruits of the spirit. The other seven are joy, peace, patience, goodness, faith, gentleness and self-control. Luckily the Buddhist tradition is keen on these ‘fruits’ too. The loving kindness meditations we use regularly are from ‘The Book of Joy’ by Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu and also the befriending meditation on the Mindfulness CD by Williams and Penman.

4. Acceptance and letting go

I feel acceptance is the key to moving on in life. Even if you don’t like something, you have to first accept the reality of its existence, before you can deal with it effectively. I have read many books on ‘Acceptance and Commitment Therapy’, they all have good exercises in them, my favourite is the one from ‘The Book of Joy’ by Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu. Other useful exercises related to acceptance are ‘Observing your thinking’ from ‘A Beginner’s guide to mindfulness' by Bohlmeijer and Hulsbergen and ‘Defusion’ from ‘Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for Dummies’.

    5. Food meditation

There are good food meditations in the Penman and Williams 'Mindfulness' book and also much about mindful eating in ‘Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for Dummies’. There is much more scope for mindful eating and drinking in our lives, seeing as we eat and drink everyday!  The important thing is to savour our food and to be grateful we have enough to eat. You can extend mindfulness of eating practices to other mindfulness of routines practices such as doing household chores or watching TV.

6. Walking meditation

I would like the opportunity to go on more mindful walks with my daughter, hopefully that will arise more in the summer holidays. Thich Naht Hanh has written extensively about mindful living, in particular relaxing walking meditations. Walking meditations usually involve connecting with nature in some way, like walking in a wood or by a river, but you can also partake in mindful walking in urban settings, in your garden, on the treadmill in a gym or just walking backwards and forwards in your living room.

7. Music meditation

We all enjoy our music in my house so being more mindful while listening to it is a very good idea. My favourite guide to mindful music enjoyment is from the teenage ACT book ‘Stuff that Sucks’. Music is one of the best, most human, things in life. Music meditation involves deeply tuning into the music, maybe moving to it, completely immersed, but remaining present. Also relevant is the mindfulness of sounds, tuning into the everyday sounds that surround us in our everyday lives.

8. Being still

My favourite ‘Being Still’ meditation is from ‘Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for Dummies’. It is a refreshing alternative to the ‘doing’ culture. I think my family and I spent too much time in doing mode and not enough time in being mode. Other meditations related to ‘Being Still’ are ‘Being a tree’, ‘Standing in the garden’, ‘Finding balance’ and ‘Feeling gravity’. I think too often we lose touch with the fundamentally important basis of being alive and in the world; a ‘Being Still’ meditation brings you back to the core of yourself.

9. Meditation ‘On-the-go’

When I first attempted to introduce mindfulness into everyday life it was met with suspicion and people didn’t think they had enough time for it. Therefore one of the first guided meditations we attempted was the one minute meditation from the Williams and Penman’s ‘Mindfulness’ book. This book also included the very useful ‘three minute breathing space’ meditation. There are many quick ‘on-the-go’ meditations available. I have a range that last between 1 minute and 10 minutes. I think when you get up to 15 minutes you are becoming a more serious meditator.

10. Yoga

My daughter and I attempt to do one and a half hours of mindful yoga once a week at the local Buddhist centre. We also attempt to do our 7 poses stress relief exercises once or twice a week. Many of my therapy books include mindful movement practices and Jon Kabat Zinn is always recommending getting in to ‘corpse pose’ at least once a day. Another useful selection of mindful movement exercises comes from my Sophrology book, the foundation practice involves exercise in each of the 5 body zones, these exercises comprise of head rotation, shoulder pumps, arm windmills, deep breathing and walking on the spot.

11.   Visualisations

In our mindfulness journey (which began on 23^rd March 2018), it took me a long time to get my head around visualisations. When I eventually got around to paying them more attention (about four months into my journey) I could see that they could prove very useful in our progress. The first visualisations we tried were really the defusion exercises from ACT and DBT, involving waterfalls, clouds, leaves and rivers mostly. Now we use the Bubble and the Reflex meditations from Sophrology, also futurisations from various sources, I would also like to delve more into useful visualisations to help with fear, anger and other difficult emotions.

12.   Beditation

My journey into mindfulness has coincided with the long, hot summer of 2018, so it has been even more of a challenge to stay calm and get a good night’s sleep. Using guided meditation to help get a good night’s sleep is a new area to explore. I have found some tips from ‘The Sleep Book’ where the sleep therapy is based on Mindfulness and ACT and also various beditations from the internet. My home made beditation that I use with my daughter involves breath awareness, the body scan, loving kindness, acceptance and defusion, visualisations, ‘teddy bear therapy’ and Alpha brain-wave meditation music.

A Feminine Embrace with Irish Eileen

Irish Eileen was a beautiful girl I met at college, long before I acquired an Irish name myself. When coming up with ideas on how to create a video to go with my song two complementary ideas came to my mind. The first was my poem 'A feminine embrace' and the second was a set of pictures Amy  had been working on featuring various very glamourous looking young ladies. Some of this work on the project can be seen below.